Friday, January 16, 2009

Just for fun

As we all know Ms. Pierce wants us to post comments on people's blogs that we have. I know for me personally posting on assignments from books and other things related to class work can just be complicated and time consuming process trying to really think about how to handle posting on some one's blog to challenge their ideas or thoughts, so I figured I would post something that has to do with more real situations that I deal with from day to day and pose some sort of ethical dilemma and people can post how they would have handled the situation or give advice on how they think I should handle the situation. Following people's comments I will post how everything was handled and my reasons for doing so and we can see how we are alike or different and why we would handle things certain ways.

Since Karla doesn't want our blogs turning into gossip columns, I would ask that anyone who responds to this post do the following:

1. Give your view of the situation

2. Support your answer with good reasons (because unsupported opinions are just that--opinions).

3. Explain what principles and values you are basing your decision / view on.

So here goes the first one...

On Thursday nights at 8 p.m. I help a friend host a trivia show. It was our last show after hosting there for almost a year together. We were having drinks and food and an all around good time with all the staff we knew and the regular teams that showed. Well during the show I got a call from a girl who for anonymity sake we will name Amanda. Now Amanda and I have had this attraction that everyone could see for close to 6 months now. She has been dating this guy Ryan (fake name again) for most of the 6 months. Now Ryan and Amanda are on and off all the time and she always calls me and what not when something goes wrong with Ryan and her. So when she shows up I am all like what does she want this time. Normally, it is just to play games with my head or try to get all into me and then just not talk to me for a while and it really just gets old. As my friend starts to hound on her about Amanda and I getting together since her and Ryan are no longer "together," I guess. Well as we sit there and have drinks till after close we all decide to pack up and leave. As we leave she is saying walk me to my car. I'm like OK fine I can do this again and get a hug and blah blah blah... So we talk for a minute outside and give her a hug and she does something she has never done before, kisses me on the cheek which was odd to me. After wards I lean back think to myself for a split second and go in for a kiss thinking to myself this a make or break moment for me and her.

So my ethical dilemma is to kiss her or not. I'm pretty sure she is still "with" her current boyfriend in some way but she obviously wants something from me. So would you go in and kiss her knowing you are ultimately participating in cheating on someone else or do you pull back and just go on your merry way and think what chance you maybe could have blown there?

I will post how I handled it after 2 people respond with their thoughts and/or questions.
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2 comments:

  1. mck-ethicsJanuary 18, 2009 at 11:49 PM

    Are you and Ryan friends? If yes, and you want to stay friends, I would stay away from Amanda. If you are not friends with Ryan, how would you feel if you were in Ryan's shoes?

    Have you ever heard the saying, if they will do it with you, they will do it to you. How would you feel if you were dating Amanda and she was calling another guy behind your back? Discussing your problems with another guy?

    Starting a new relationship before the old one is finished is something to think about. There are several principles or values I would consider here.
    1) To get involved with someone new before the old is finished, puts the other guy at risk of being hurt. How would you feel if your girlfriend met someone else before she ended with you?
    2) Rebound relationships are also something to consider.
    3) How would you feel if Amanda starts dating you and her boyfriend has no idea about you.
    4) How would you feel if she starts dating you but then decides to go back to the ex?
    5) How are you going to feel when she starts talking to the ex about the problems you and Amanda are having?
    6) How will it make you feel when you are blamed for breaking up their relationship?

    My opinion, for what it is worth. Treat the other guy the way you would want to be treated. Even though it is easier to find someone before you end it with the old one, BUT, I believe it is only fair to all parties to end it first before starting a relationship with someone else. Just remember, there are always two sides to every story. All you heard was Amanda's side. More times than not, she will do the same thing to you.

    "The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior" (Dr. Phil).

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  2. LonghornRunningJanuary 21, 2009 at 11:09 PM

    MCK,

    I guess I could have filled in some of the issues you had. Ryan and I aren't really friends more just acquantinces. All of your points that you posted I pretty much had for myself. If someone cheats with you before they start something new than what will jeep them from doing it themselves as well. You said everything I wanted to probably better than I could have.

    The way it ended was nothing happened because I had the same things running through my mind. Needless to say she is still with Ryan and feeding me more crap about this and that. Also, I am done talking to Amanda and just ending the situation before it goes any further.

    I wish more people would have posted their ideas but thanks for the input. I will post more issues as things that I can think of come up.

    Thanks Again,

    LonghornRunning

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